How Externalizing a Problem Can Transform Your Mental Health
As a mental health therapist, one of the most powerful tools I share with my clients is the practice of externalizing a problem. This technique, rooted in narrative therapy, helps shift the way we relate to our struggles, creating space for healing, self-compassion, and positive change.
What Is Externalization?
Externalization is the process of separating yourself from your problem. Instead of saying, "I am anxious," you might say, "Anxiety is visiting me today." Instead of "I am a failure," you might say, "Self-doubt is showing up right now." This subtle but profound shift allows you to see the issue as something outside of yourself—something you can understand, manage, and even challenge.
Why Should You Externalize Your Problems?
Too often, we fuse our identity with our struggles. When we say, "I am depressed," or "I am unworthy," we give these challenges outsized power in our lives. Externalizing reminds us that we are not defined by our problems—we are so much more. This technique can:
Reduce Shame and Self-Blame – When you see a problem as separate from yourself, it becomes easier to treat yourself with kindness rather than judgment.
Increase Agency – If a problem is something outside of you, then it’s something you can take action against.
Improve Problem-Solving – Once externalized, problems feel less overwhelming, allowing you to approach them with curiosity and creativity.
Enhance Self-Compassion – You wouldn’t berate a friend for struggling; externalization helps you extend that same grace to yourself.
How to Practice Externalization
Give the Problem a Name – This might feel silly at first, but naming a problem can help you disarm it. Try calling your inner critic "The Doubter" or your anxiety "The Overthinker."
Describe It as a Separate Entity – Imagine your problem as something outside of you. What does it look like? How does it act? What does it try to tell you?
Talk Back to It – Challenge the problem’s narrative. If your inner critic says, "You’ll never be good enough," you might respond, "That’s not true, and I won’t let you dictate my choices."
Notice When It Shows Up – Become aware of when and how the problem influences your life. This awareness gives you the power to decide how to respond.
Reclaim Your Story – Shift from "I am powerless against this" to "I am learning how to handle this." Remember, you are the author of your own narrative.
A Compassionate Reminder
Externalizing a problem doesn’t mean ignoring it or pretending it doesn’t exist. Rather, it gives you a new perspective—one where you are in control, capable, and worthy of change. You are not your anxiety. You are not your past mistakes. You are not your fears. You are a whole, evolving person with the ability to write a new story for yourself.
If this technique resonates with you, I encourage you to try it out. And if you need support along the way, know that therapy is a safe space to explore these ideas further. You deserve the peace that comes with seeing them for what they truly are—just one part of your story, not the whole of who you are.
